Culture comes for you!

It actually is coming for you! Run! (Please don't really run, that would completely defeat the purpose of my blog to begin with.) I was just listening to NPR (yes, I listen to NPR, it's good news, get over it), and I wondered how many other people in the world listen to public radio as well. I know that in the United States, there are approximately 30 million people who, when polled, said that they did listen to public radio. Now, I think that the group of public radio listeners are a rather shy bunch who wouldn't really be found out that often to begin with, so that maybe doubles the number of people who could potentially listen to NPR to around 60 million.
Now, we all know that polls can get everywhere, and that includes the little hermits living in the Rockies who support public radio, but NPR listeners, again being a rather timid lot, probably didn't want to reveal themselves as such for fear of government wire-tapping programs. So, again, I think we can safely double the number of NPR-ees once more to around 120 million.
The other thing that gets to the public radio listener is their profound sense of unworthiness. So, when asked about whether they did listen to public radio, they will think that to really be considered a listener you have to "seriously" listen (more than the meager 5 hours a day they do), so again they'll answer that they don't listen to public radio. With this, we may double our numbers another time, to get 240 million NPR listeners.
Possibly, the only other reason people might not identify themselves as NPR listeners would be the pledge week. Most people dislike the week-long begging drives that the local radio stations have to go through to support themselves as somewhat commercial-free radio, and considering the psyche of the NPR listener, they will be sure to not consider themselves part of the "true" listeners because they always switch stations during pledge week. This, yet another time, provides sufficient evidence to double our numbers to 480 million Americans listening to public radio stations.

Still, I think we should double once more just for good measure. I mean, we wouldn't want an estimate to be too far off the money. So we land ourselves with roughly 960 million public radio devotees. There we are. I, for one, am sufficiently satisfied with this hypothesis, and will stand by my prediction that somewhere around 274.3% of all Americans are actually public radio listeners. WE INUNDATE YOU, AMERICA! HA!